Guys I miss casual. What do I mean by casual? Well, its not that I don’t have friends but its the type of friends you can have in 20s but almost never have in 30s.
Casual is having nothing to do on a Friday night, texting friends and all going to a movie. That kind of thing never happens.
Casual is getting together to watch American Idol or Survivor every Wednesday night at your house. That kind of thing never happens any more.
Casual is if I’m bored having someone to call and hang out with because they are also most likely bored. That kind of thing never happens.
Casual is stopping over to chat with friends, usually to bring them a flyer or something from church. That kind of thing never happens. (all email now).
What we have in your 30s instead of casual is a calendar. Everything is planned out and scheduled weeks in advance. That is fine but there is something more relaxing about both the regularity and spontaneity of casual. It was just so easy and now friendshipping is a lot of work.
Now even to meet a friend for lunch is a challenge. Her schedule, my schedule are both busy and it’s tough. Plus, about 80% of my friends don’t live in state any more and 99% have kids which is fine but usually requires more planning.
I know with book club I had to take a break because it was turning into this thing that I hated. I felt like the book nag when it was supposed to be fun. It was such a chore trying to get people to come that I finally threw up my hands in frustration.
But I can be to blame too. Just Saturday I missed the Hand Made Co-op (although I did message my friend as early as I could) . I had a terrible night with about 3 hours of sleep and I knew a drive up to Salt Lake wasn’t going to happen. This was especially true because I would be going to Bountiful later that afternoon for the Open Water clinic. I figured I had to pick one and with the GSL Open Water Swim coming up soon I knew I needed to be at the clinic.
So I can flake out on people too. We all do. It’s just tough to get people together.
That said, I suppose it is silly to pine for the past. This is my life now and it isn’t casual.