Day: January 23, 2015

When I’m 34…


I am writing this post as an officially 34 year old woman and I find myself wondering ‘how did this happen?’.  I know it’s a cliché but seriously ‘where did the time go?’.  In just a few weeks it will be 10 years since I came home from my mission.  I repeat where did the time go?

I was a kid that didn’t particularly like being a kid.  I wanted to be respected and listened too like the adults in my life were.  I wanted to have the answers and the power to get things done.  Now I find myself as an adult wondering if that young version of me would be happy or sad with what has happened?

And I think I always assumed I would change a lot as an adult but honestly aside from feeling a little beat down I feel the same as I did 10 years ago an 15 years ago.  I would say that’s a bad thing but I expect everyone feels that way.  You are still the same personality more experience behind it.

There’s a lovely little movie with Bruce Willis called The Kid where he, the cranky PR man, gets to come face to face with the 12 year old him.  He looks around at his future life and says

“So, I’m forty, I’m not married, I don’t fly jets, and I don’t have a dog? I grow up to be a loser…”

I’m 34.  I’m not married but I do swim marathons and own a house.  Hopefully the 12 year old me wouldn’t think I am a loser (I had no interest in flying jets or owning a dog as a kid!). I’m sure I would be disappointed that I am unmarried.  Not because it was some big dream of mine but I think I just assumed it would happen since most adults I knew were married, why not me?  Indeed.

It’s perhaps not good to dwell on it but on days like birthdays I can’t help but ponder for a second about my life.  Is God happy with my life? That’s what is most important to me.  I believe that He is but it never hurts on such a day to get that confirmation again.

When finished my mission I was blessed with a sense of closure and freedom from regrets. That is what I seek whenever I have a moment of contemplation about my life.  I want to know that I can stand with Paul and say ‘I have fought a good fight.  I have finished my course.  I have kept the faith”.

Anyway, I don’t know if that is interesting to you at all- just something I was pondering today. Regardless another year in my life has come and gone. I hope I have made the best use of it.

Sure Love ya!